What's your back yard look like?

What's your back yard look like?

I had a great conversation the other day with my Jiu-Jitsu training partner Dave about kids. Dave's first son was born a month ago and we had a great talk about being a new dad and the responsibilities and joy's of fatherhood. I had brought up how I help coach the boys coach-pitch baseball team and the struggles of teaching kids the sport. In the conversation it hit me, that I could probably tell how good a kid was going to be at a sport by looking at his yard. If that kids back yard had worn dirt spots wear home plate sits from wiffle ball games, and spots where the chain link fence is permanently concave from soccer balls being kicked into it and if there is any number of sport implements littering the shed, garage and ground I would make a pretty good assumption that the kid in question was going to be alright at most sports because someone had been playing with him in that back yard. 

Dave told me a story of an older guy he knew who was active in a local Little League. This man coached and umpired Little games even after his own kids had moved on. One day a Dad of one of the boys he coached came up to him and was complaining that his son wasn't getting the playing time he thought he had deserved. The man stated that he had played second base in high school and his son should be playing second base too. The coach looked at him and told him to walk with him away from the field. The coach asked him "how often do you play catch with your son?" The man replied stuttering a bit, taken back by the comment and answered "ahhh not much". Coach- "How do you expect him to start at second base if you never practice with him?" Dad- "I don't know". 

The coach had that conversation a lot with parents over the years and very few parents every took the challenge. But this Dad took that to heart and started playing catch with his son and his son got a lot better. 

So this comes back to if you have kids, what does your yard look like? Do you practice or play with your kids. Do you prepare them or just send them off for the coach or teacher to do your job? Now this just doesn't apply to sports. This could be about Math, Spelling or playing an instrument your kid is playing. I bet I could walk into a kids room and tell if he was good at reading, I bet if I found books littered around his room and books next to his bed that someone reads to him or they read often on their own. Do you practice with your kids and help them or just expect someone else to do it? 

Having a Dad who's a teacher I hear stories of parents who complain that their son or daughter is doing well in Math, Science or any subject. When they parents are asked if they help do the Math or Science homework at home with there child, they say no it's the teachers job to teach their child. It's lack of personal responsibility and effort that stifles growth and potential.

If you don't have kids I probably lost you along the way because that doesn't apply to you. Well that's not true because I could ask you what are not doing that you should be doing? What are your goals or ambitions? What are you doing to work toward them, I use the analogy "what's your yard look like?" Pertaining to kids. In my opinion this analogy can be applied to any area of your life or anything you are trying to achieve.

 Maybe you have a goal in the gym to get a T2B or maybe get a Muscle up, well I would ask "what do your hands look like" Are there calluses on those hands from practicing? Do you have a plan or just flying by the seat off your pants? Or maybe your goal is to get a promotion at work. "What's your work schedule look like"? Are you coming in early to work or staying late at work, are you being a team player? If you want something you must work for it, you must put in the effort and take personal responsibility for it. Right now is someone is living the life you want? What are you doing about it?

I'll leave you with a quote from a speech(The Strenuous Life) from my favorite American President.

"I wish to preach, not the doctrine of ignoble ease, but the doctrine of the strenuous life, the life of toil and effort, of labor and strife; to preach that highest form of success which comes, not to the man who desires mere easy peace, but to the man who does not shrink from danger, from hardship, or from bitter toil, and who out of these wins the splendid ultimate triumph."

                                                                                                                              - Teddy Roosevelt 

If you want a great read look up the speech "The Strenuous Life" and read the whole thing.